One Step Enough for Me

Last Saturday I went to Women's Day, an annual event put on by my church, for women living in this area. Each sister that was there was able to sign up for three different classes of her choosing. I thoroughly enjoyed all of my classes, and am anxiously awaiting next year's Women's Day.

In one of my classes, we learned about ways God speaks to us, how we receive the answers, how to recognize the answers, and what to do if we don't think we have gotten an answer. It was such an uplifting class for me. 

As we went through these different points, my mind kept going back to a memory - an experience that happened to my family almost exactly a year ago. My husband had gotten a new job opportunity, which we felt was an answer to our prayers. We quickly realized, however, in just a short month's time, that it was not the right path. 

For a while, we were confused. We thought we had received a spiritual prompting that Jad was supposed to take that retail management position. 

In class we talked about how sometimes we listen to our emotions, and assume it is the Holy Ghost speaking. I think in some ways this may have been the case with us. We didn't do enough research on the job, and just blindly assumed everything would be  fine because we were so excited about the opportunity for change.

In other ways, though, we really felt like the Lord brought that opportunity to Jad. He had been applying for jobs for years, and this was the first time he was contacted by a company (that wasn't a sales company), was interviewed, and offered a job that fit his experience, with an ability for growth in the company.

But it was the wrong decision, though...

I learned a couple things in this class at Women's Day that go along perfectly with this experience:

The first is a quote by Elder Richard G. Scott, an apostle in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, who said, "When you are living righteously and are acting with trust, Go will not let you proceed too far without a warning impression if you have made the wrong decision"(Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer, Ensign, May 2007).

It was true. Jad and I felt very strongly after his first day of work (after a month of training), that this job was not right. We felt prompted that he should quit. We thank the Lord for giving us that prompting, and giving Jad the strength to listen to it.

So, why did the Spirit tell Jad to take the job if it wasn't right? Well, we watched this beautiful video in  class called Wrong Roads, a true story from the life of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, another apostle in my church. Watch the video for the full spiritual message, but in essence, he said that sometimes the Lord takes us in a direction that isn't right so that we can quickly discern what is right. 

It's true. We learned so quickly that retail was not the path Jad should go down. We stopped applying for retail manager jobs after that experience, and instead, researched different career paths Jad could take.

We also learned other wonderful lessons from him taking and quitting that job, two of which were to be grateful for what we have, and to make more quality use of our time as a family.

The lesson doesn't end there, though. We learned which path wasn't right, but it took us almost a year to find out which path was right. Why so long? 

Elder David A. Bednar, another apostle in my church, said something that makes it all make sense: "Most frequently, revelation comes in small increments over time and is granted according to our desire, worthiness, and preparation" (The Spirit of Revelation, Ensign, May 2011). 

Heavenly Father wants us to be patient, to trust Him, to keep His commandments, and to continue to pray to Him earnestly. 

He also wants us to do our own work and research. In modern scripture to Joseph Smith, the Lord said, "But behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right" (Doctrine and Covenants 9:8). 

Jad and I had to do all of these things, and when we were ready, Heavenly Father prompted Jad on the next steps in his career. 

Retail wasn't the answer, and getting another Bachelor's degree wasn't the answer. The answer Jad received was to go into the IT profession, in the field of networking. He searched out schools, and felt at peace with My Computer Career.

It was a leap of faith, though. It is an expensive school. We had to take out a hefty loan. He had to figure out how to go to school but still run his store, knowing that he would not stay there much longer. He had to deal with family disgruntlement and lack of support. He and I knew, though, this was the right choice.

Jad  has now been attending My Computer Career for two weeks. This is going to be at least a one-year schooling journey. It has been hard - the information has been coming quickly, and is a bit overwhelming for him. He is home much less and it is affecting time with our kids, and  with us as a couple. We are both much busier than ever before.

There is a difference this time, though. In contrast with his retail position where we never saw any light ahead of us, we definitely know in this case that the Lord is there and lighting our way.

In a video entitled Patterns of Light: Spirit of Revelation, Elder Bednar talked about three different patterns of light we receive as we get revelation. As Jad is in school, I can see that our pattern is that of a foggy day. There is just a little light ahead of us. If we just keep taking a few steps, though, the light will help us see far enough ahead that we can continue to press forward.

We can't see the end result yet. We don't know when Jad will get an IT job, where, how much money, how it will affect our lives, etc., but we trust the Lord wholeheartedly that he will guide us in the right direction. We are so excited to see where this path leads our family.

If you would like to read all about Jad's retail management journey from 2013, read below:

Have you ever called someone a quitter who left a job instead of sticking it out? Have you ever seen a messy store and assumed it was because of lazy employees and management? Have you ever thought badly about someone because of what someone else tells you? Well, I have a very interesting story to tell you about my husband, Jad.

Ever since we have been married (four years next March), Jad has traveled out of town at least three days a week to work at his convenience store in Kinston. Though he has always been off work the other four days of the week, our family has found this arrangement very difficult, for several reasons. Because of this, for years we have prayed for another job to come along where Jad could have benefits and be home every night with his family.

Well, in July and August, our dreams started to unfold.  Jad had an interview with a popular retail store to be the assistant manager at its Chapel Hill location. His interview process moved forward, and on August 12, he was offered the job. We prayed about it, and it just didn’t feel quite right. It wasn’t going to be quite enough money, and we thought his skills exceeded that of assistant manager.
 

Jad told the district manager that he wasn’t going to take the job, and we were both surprised and excited when the district manager offered Jad to be the store manager of the Reidsville store. He told Jad that it was a large, lucrative store, full of loyal employees, and the best office manager around. Jad would be paid plenty of money as a manager, would have benefits, and would learn great skills he had not yet had the privilege of learning. We prayed about it and felt good about Jad accepting this job. So, he did.

During the month of September, Jad trained to be a store manager in the Chapel Hill location. He was overwhelmed much of the time, worried he wouldn’t be trained in time. We didn’t see him much during September. We also couldn’t communicate with Jad during the day, but had to wait for him to call us and talk to us for maybe five minutes. We noticed both of us having less and less sleep, and less time together as a family. It wasn’t so bad, though, because Jad saw us each day, at least for a little while. Sometimes he only saw Casey for a few minutes before he went to school. The house got increasingly messier.  

We kept reassuring ourselves it was going to be a raise and a good opportunity. Jad ended up needing an extra week to train. He completed his training successfully October 4.

During the weeks Jad trained, we did not know how much money he would be paid once becoming a store manager. We didn’t know if he would be able to work with the retiring manager at the Reidsville store. We didn’t know what his schedule in Reidsville would be like. We didn’t like how we didn’t know these things in advance. At the conclusion of training, Jad was told that he would have one day with the newly retired manager and then the Reidsville store would be his starting the 8th of October.

On the morning of the 7^th, we were all excited for Jad to start his new job. I waited for him to call me all day to talk to me about it.  When he didn’t call me, I texted him instead. He said his day wasn’t going very well – that it was just too much. I encouraged him, saying I knew he could do it.

That evening, I made his favorite dessert, knafeh, to celebrate. To my surprise and sadness, it was not a celebratory dessert after all, but more of a therapeutic one. The rest of the evening was filled with tears and sadness as we discussed the day’s events.

Jad told me that the whole way home he just wanted to cry. The store was filthy beyond belief, with boxes everywhere, a disgusting carpet that wasn’t going to be replaced, a horrendous back room, no Christmas items set out, and a mess that would take weeks to clean up.

At work, when the district manager for Reidsville walked him around the store, he pointed all these things out, all the while putting down the manager who just retired. Jad agreed there was much to be done, and felt confident he would be able to fix everything. Then, he talked to the manager himself. He got a different story.

The newly retired manager told him how happy he was to be leaving that store. He said that he worked over 60 hours a week and worked hard all the time, but there weren’t enough employees to get anything done. Only a small percentage of store profit can go to Payroll, and the numbers are strictly enforced. Several of the employees at the Reidsville store have been there many years, and thus, make much more money than most cashiers would. Because of this, no extra help can be hired. Despite this, the retired manager had the same expectations put upon him, with no leniency or compassion of any kind.

Jad got a different outlook then. After talking to the retired manager, he realized that this manager had to clean bathrooms and run a register, amongst other non-manager duties because there weren’t enough employees to do those things. A salary-paid employee gets paid the same no matter how many hours he works. Jad figured out that based on how many hours he would have to work, he’d only be making maybe $9 an hour. He’d also have to work at least two Sundays a month.

In addition to working at least 60 hours a week (managers are only supposed to work 48-52 per week), he would have nearly an hour drive back and forth each day. Plus, he would only get a total of three days off during November and December each year, and would have no paid vacation until after his first year.

Jad and I had a very long discussion about this whole situation. I told him he had to quit. As we kept talking, I knew that was what had to be done, and kept reiterating it. He was relieved, and told me he was worried that I would tell him to stick it out because of the money.

It really wasn’t even an option for him to stay with this company. Jad wouldn’t be able to fulfill his church responsibilities – not his calling nor his home teaching. The kids and I would basically never see him. He’d miss out on all school and church activities. The house would stay messy forever… no, this was not going to work.

We did consider the cons of him quitting. The only thing we could think of was how people would think about him for doing it. People might gossip. We decided that was not a good enough reason to stay with the company.

Jad got excited about quitting. The next day was actually a big meeting with all the managers of his district, the district manager, and the district trainer. He said he would go to the meeting, get a final feel for if this job could work by talking to the district manager, and then quit if necessary.

He left for Greensboro early Tuesday morning. On my way to the church class I teach, I got a phone call from Jad. He told me he was shaking from the inside and that he thought he caused a big stir. I asked him what happened. He then started to tell me of the morning’s events.

When Jad first got to the meeting, he noticed all the managers were older. He found this peculiar. He had been told that he would have an opportunity for promotion. If that were the case, all the people in this room should have been promoted by now.

After the first hour and half of the meeting, Jad felt prompted to start asking his fellow managers questions. He asked each of them how long they had been working at the company and how many hours they worked per week. On average, they had been working as managers for 15-20 years and were working about 60 hours a week or more. Jad asked them if they liked their job. Not one person said yes; they just looked at each other.

One manager, who was a little younger, said she is at work more than she is at home. She has not been able to spend quality time with her children for 15 years.

Jad went outside then to speak to the district manager. He asked the DM for 15% to use towards payroll or a significant pay increase. The DM said no, so Jad asked to speak to the whole group inside.

He boldly stood up in front of everyone and said that he would not be working for this company because he would be a slave. He said he would rather spend time with his family than work all the time for more money. Throughout his speech, he told the managers to stop him if he said something wrong.

 Jad wasn’t afraid to tell everyone that this company wasn’t run in the right way.  There weren’t enough hours to give the employees, so the managers had to work for basically $9-$10 an hour.

Jad firmly testified that money is not important. After we die, we only take our family and knowledge with us. His relationship with his family was much more important than any job. He reiterated that he would not be working for the company. He said it was nice to meet all of them, apologized for the trouble, and stated his name before handing the district manager the keys and heading to his van to come home.

As he looked around the room before departing, he noticed the faces of those around him. He was surprised that the only person who looked upset was the district manager. Most of the other people had looks of understanding, or eye-opening awareness. One female manager even smiled at him and told him to go home to his family.

I was proud of him, and we were both relieved for him to be going back to the job we so desperately wanted him to leave.

Later we talked about all this. Why did we have to go through this experience? Why go through all that training just to quit a job after one day? Well, we actually learned much from this and are grateful we went through it:

1.       The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

2.       What we had was actually good in many ways, and we should have acted more grateful instead of complaining. Jad’s work arrangement of going to Kinston three days a week is still not perfect, but we will be much more positive about it now.

3.       Quality family time is so important. Getting more money is not an excuse to take that away.

4.       Do sufficient research on what you are accepting before taking a job. Don’t just take someone’s word for it.

5.       Be careful of listening to the “flattering words” of others.

6.       Get both sides of all stories. Things are not always as they seem.

7.       When we thought we would not be spending much time together anymore, we thought of ways to spend more quality time as a family, and we will continue to implement those ideas.

8.       Only someone who was about to quit a job could speak so boldly as Jad did. Perhaps his words will influence a change in the company, or at least in the hearts of some who work there.

Jad and I both thank our Heavenly Father for knowing what we need and how we need to be taught. 

The Monster and the Miracle

August 28, 2011 was just like any normal Sunday. We went to church as usual, and had dinner at my parents' house. Everything seemed fine. Then, that night, after we put the kids to bed, Jad started to get stomach pain. He said he felt like knives were stabbing him. He started to throw up, and he kept wailing in pain. He was freezing cold, but sweating too. He couldn't even stand up. He just kneeled over the toilet and screamed that he needed to go to the hospital.

I was very worried. I knew Jad wouldn’t say that unless something was really wrong. I couldn't take him there because I had two children (one a young baby) asleep in their beds. I then thought of calling my brother, Aaron. He graciously accepted my plea to take Jad to the emergency room.

When Aaron arrived, I had managed to get Jad down the stairs, but he was kneeling over the steps moaning, with a bucket nearby. It would have been comical, had it not been so disconcerting. I watched, feeling helpless, as Aaron slowly led Jad to his car and off to Durham Regional Hospital. Aaron told me he drove as fast as he could, recognizing just how bad it must be… Jad was a very tough person, and he could barely talk.

I didn't sleep well that night. I keep waiting for my phone to ring with an update. The only comfort was in knowing my brother was with him.

Aaron related to me the events of that first night, and it made me even more grateful he was there. When they first got to the emergency room, nobody seemed to notice Jad could barely stand. While he was bombarded with paperwork, Aaron gingerly held up his body weight.

When Jad got to a room, he was given an IV to remove the pain. Ridiculously, though, the nurse had to stab him many times before finding a vein. She kept apologizing, saying she was new. Jad didn’t seem to notice at first, but finally grunted in displeasure.

Jad saw a doctor soon after, and after explaining his symptoms, the doctor recommended that he get a CT scan. Aaron and Jad were then told to sit tight until the doctors transferred shifts. That ended up being several hours. When the second doctor finally arrived, he confirmed the need for a CT scan. Jad had to drink a liquid in three doses to cleanse his body. A nurse was supposed to check on him to give him each dose, but she didn’t. Aaron took it upon himself to administer the liquid to Jad.

Finally, he got the CT scan. Brian McDonald, someone we didn’t know then but do now from church, gave him this scan. The doctor came in to show Jad the x-ray, which showed a large growth on his liver. He told Jad grimly that he most likely had a cancerous tumor.

At receiving this news, Jad wept. He did not want to die and leave his family alone. What would they do? He wasn’t ready to leave this earth yet.

I am so grateful Aaron was with him to comfort him during this heartbreaking time.

I came to the hospital the next morning after taking Casey to school. I asked for prayers from my friends and family, and held on to faith that all would be well. After all, they had not yet confirmed it was cancer.

                                             Rigel and I visiting Jad in the hospital.

We were so blessed and grateful to soon hear that cancer was out of the list of possible diagnoses. If that huge growth were a malignant tumor, Jad would have been dead long ago. We breathed a sigh of relief, but longed to know what was really wrong.

That whole day, we waited to know what was in his body. At one point, a whole room of doctors came in, and said they didn’t have an answer but were still working on it. All they knew was that he had something large, living, and growing inside of his liver. They said that Jad would have to have a lot of blood taken. Some of the blood would be sent to Maryland to be tested.

We were so grateful for the visitors we received during all this waiting. It made it a little easier to endure.

The following day, August 30, the doctors had a theory: Jad had a Middle-Eastern parasite that had been growing inside his body for years. They said his condition must be very rare since none of them had ever seen it before.

Once the blood tests were sent off, Jad was able to return home to await a diagnosis. He would have to return to the hospital once the blood tests came back. The doctors said if the blood tests were inconclusive, he would have to have a liver biopsy.

Exactly one week later, on September 6, Jad and I went to Duke University Hospital to get the news from Dr. Luke Chen, the Infectious Disease Specialist there. After about four hours at the hospital (most of it spent waiting), we got our answer: Jad had Echinococcus.

Dr. Chen, a Chinese man with an Australian accent, drew pictures for us of what was going on in Jad’s liver. He had never actually seen anyone with Echinococcus before, but he said Jad must have had the disease for at least 10 years, based on the size of the cystic matter. He told us how this parasite can infect many organs, and that Jad was very lucky it was the liver, because the liver is the only body part that can regenerate itself. He also expressed relief that the infection manifested itself when it did, because it could have ruptured at any time, ending Jad’s life.

A doctor in the Northeast told Dr. Chen about a patient she had had with Echinococcus. She said that if Jad needed surgery, it would be best for a cancer surgeon to operate. Dr. Chen told Jad that if he had surgery, Dr. Bryan Clary would be his surgeon. He had never operated on someone with this condition, but he was one of the best out there.

He put Jad on a pill that is supposed to cure Echinoccocus (it had to be specially ordered), in the off chance that he could be cured. More realistically, though, Dr. Chen expected the medicine to just stop the cyst from growing. Jad had to be on this pill for two months before he could have surgery

We left the office that day a little overwhelmed, but with faith all would be well. We really liked Dr. Chen, and knew Jad was in good hands. He was so interested in Jad’s case, and wanted to learn everything he could. He was also very friendly, helpful, and offered us as much information as possible. We could tell he cared about Jad’s well-being.

After that appointment, we were really curious to find out how Jad got this infectious disease.

Well, after some reflection with his mother, Salma, Jad figured it out:

In the Spring of 1999, when Jad was 17 years old, he and many members of his family went to have a barbecue near a farming community on the Dead Sea. There were people on the street selling lettuce from their farms. Jad’s family ended up buying a large box of lettuce. Jad loves lettuce, so naturally, he started to eat it. One of his mother’s cousins said that the lettuce should probably be washed before it was eaten, but the consensus of the group was that if they just shook the lettuce off, it would be fine. His whole family ate the lettuce without a problem. That evening, though, Jad started to get very itchy. He also had bumps all over his body, and swelling. Salma took Jad to an urgent care to be checked out. The doctor attributed the bumps and itching to an allergic reaction. He gave Jad a shot to help with the itching and swelling. The shot worked, so Jad went home.

This would not be the only time Jad had a reaction over the next few years.

In summer 2002, when Jad was living in Port St. Lucie, FL, he had another reaction. He had gone out to eat and eaten a tuna salad. Late that night, he got very itchy, with bumps and swelling. His uncle Hani took him to the hospital, and the doctor said he probably had food poisoning. He was treated for that, and sent on his way.

Jad's uncle Hani complained to the restaurant about the food poisoning, but the restaurant did not want to take responsibility. The hospital recommended that Jad to go to an allergist to try to find an explanation for his symptoms. After the tests, the allergist told him he had no allergies at all. The restaurant still claimed it wasn't food poisoning, but offered to pay for the allergist appointment.

The following summer, something much worse happened. Jad had eaten dinner at home with his uncles William and Hani, and his other roommate, Ihan. Hani had made chicken wraps with large amounts of onion. After dinner, Jad felt bloated. That night, while he was sleeping, Jad got a huge stabbing pain in the right side of his body. He was terrified because he couldn’t feel or move his right side at all. William and Ihan quickly took him to the same hospital as the year before. The doctor was not that concerned about Jad’s condition, and said he just had bad gas. He gave him a lot of pain medication and pills for bloating.

In late summer 2004, when Jad was in Jordan, something else happened. He got something called a Christmas Tree rash. It lasted for about 45 days. The doctor said it was very common and not dangerous – just an allergic reaction.

Following that summer, Jad did not have any serious symptoms. He would just occasionally have pain under his ribcage. He always assumed it was gas.

After we told Jad’s family that the issues he had all those years were due to Echinococcus, they started to do some research. They said that many people in Jordan over the years had gotten the same infection – many in their lungs – and there had been many deaths. Only in the past 6-7 years had Jordanian doctors finally started to get familiar with the disease.

Did it bother you that all of these doctors just made assumptions instead of finding out the issue? Did you recognize, as we did, that had any of these hospitals done a CT scan, Jad could have easily been cured, with no need for surgery? We had a little frustration over this, but mostly just held on to our hopes that the Lord would bless Jad to make it through this, and that our family would come out stronger with lessons learned.

Before surgery was scheduled, Jad had another CT scan, just to see what was going on in his liver. The cysts, as anticipated, were still there, as big as ever, but there had been no progression. Yes, Jad definitely needed surgery.

He met with Dr. Clary to get options for the surgery, and to set a date. I wasn’t there for that appointment, but Jad’s brother, Tawfeeq, accompanied him. Dr. Clary gave Jad two options: robotic surgery or invasive surgery. With robotic surgery, Jad would only have a couple small scars, but his risks of dying were higher. In contrast, invasive surgery would be less risky, but he would end up with a huge scar, and cold weather would cause him pain going forward. Dr. Clary let Jad choose, but made it clear which was the safer choice. Jad chose the invasive surgery option.

Surgery was scheduled for November 10, 2011.

You may wonder how Jad and I were feeling as the date approached. It’s interesting. Jad and I were never really that scared. We both knew everything was going to work out. We even went into it all with a positive attitude, looking for the benefits for our family. For example, here is my Facebook status post from November 4, 2011:

Ah, I love my family so much! I can't wait for Jad to come home tomorrow. Then we'll be together every day for at least a month while Jad heals from surgery, which is next Thursday. I'm sure this experience will only bring us closer.

                A picture of our happy family just a couple weeks before the surgery.

November 9 arrived, and I asked for my friends and family to pray that Jad’s surgery would go smoothly the following day. I received an outpouring of support, love and prayers. My friend, Jada, put a post on Facebook that brought me great peace. She said:

Much love to Jad and the entire Al-Bjaly family. God has an army of angels to watch over you all. I pray with all my heart that His grace and mercy will be with you and that you will have peace throughout the entire process of surgery and recovery. Much love. Let me know if you need anything.

We went to bed that night ready to face the day. We had to be at Duke Hospital really early in the morning, like around 5:30 AM. My mother was an angel to come to our home before we left, and take care of my sleeping children. She would get Casey off to school and then bring Rigel to the hospital to wait with me until the surgery was over.

I remember riding the elevator together when we got to the hospital. We were going up into the unknown. We had only been married for less than two years, and here we were, going through something so serious, something we never would have expected. After Jad was prepped for surgery, I was taken back to wish him well and give him my love. The anesthesiologist said I needed to give him his “goodnight kiss.” I did just that, and then turned to leave him in the surgeon’s hands.

It was amazing how many people were in the waiting room. They were all waiting for a loved one to come out of surgery. My mom and Rigel were with me the whole time, and we watched people. We even had a conversation here and there. I was never afraid. I was a little impatient, though, especially as the four-hour mark went by. He should have been done with his surgery by then. The minutes kept ticking, and I yearned to hear my name over the loud speaker to come get an update. At one point, I did go up and ask. The person at the desk inquired with Dr. Clary for me, and he just said the surgery was taking longer than expected.

Tick tock. Tick tock. Late in the afternoon, Jad’s mom, Salma, aunt Rania, grandmother, Nada, and uncle Hani, came from Kinston to sit in the waiting room and show their support. They brought lots of Arabic cookies. Aaron came to visit too.

After about eight hours, I got called up to the desk. The surgery was finally over. I gave a huge sigh of relief and contentment.

Dr. Clary called all of us into this office to explain what he had found during the surgery. He said that he removed a mass about the size of a football from Jad’s body. The cysts had been attached to Jad’s diaphragm and gallbladder as well. Not only was most of Jad’s liver removed, but also his gallbladder. Removing the cystic matter from the diaphragm was very intricate work, causing the surgery to last so much longer than planned. We were shocked at all this, and even more grateful Jad was alive and well.

My mom and Aaron headed home with Rigel, and I stayed behind with Jad’s family to be able to hopefully see him. After about an hour, I was the first to be able to see Jad. I was a little nervous walking down the long, cold hallway. When I approached my husband, he was moaning and could barely talk or keep his eyes open. He didn’t seem to quite know what was going on. Jad may not have realized I was there, but regardless, I held his hand, spoke sweetly to him, told him I loved him, and sweetly kissed his forehead.

When I was with him, my first feelings were that of sympathy for my poor husband…but then I felt God’s love surrounding both of us. I knew that He was with us, and that Jad’s surgery went well because of faith and prayers, and because Jad had a special mission to perform for the Lord in this life. He would recover, and he would go forward in faith.

It was hard to leave him, but I promised I would be back the next day. Jad’s family members took turns visiting him too. I saw tears as they re-entered the waiting room. We said our goodbyes, and left Jad at the hospital.
He did not remember any of us visiting him that evening. Late that night, though, after I put the kids to bed, I got a phone call. A nurse from Duke told me that Jad had woken up and was asking for his wife. My heart broke a little, and I wished I could be with him. I promised I would be there the next morning.

My cousin, Lisa, yet another angel in this story, came down from Virginia for several days to help watch my kids so that I could be with Jad as often as possible. I drove back and forth to Duke way more times than I ever thought I would in my life during the next six days. Often, Salma came with me. Other times, when Lisa wasn’t able to watch the kids, I would take Salma to the hospital, go home, and come get her later. I wanted someone with Jad as often as possible.

When I first saw Jad that first day after surgery, I was so humbled. Seeing him that way, I realized how much we take our bodies for granted. He needed help with everything – eating, drinking, adjusting pillows - moving at all. As I observed his difficulty, I started to giggle – something I do when I am nervous or unsure. I think the nurse thought I was either really crazy or really insensitive. I actually was a little alarmed. I hadn’t expected him to be so bad off.

Jad told me that the previous night he had a dream. I won’t recount the details, but it was a confirmation to him that there is life after death, and that it was not his time to go.

Throughout the next few days, Jad slept a lot, and I read more books than I had in a long time. He also had to practice walking. The first time I walked with him, both Salma and I helped him, and he literally walked as slowly as a turtle. It was hard to walk that slowly, but I always held his hand.

To quickly summarize Jad’s progress through November 16, the day he went home, here are my Facebook statuses for those days:

Saturday, Nov 12 - For those of you who want an update on Jad, here it is: He will be in the hospital until at least Tuesday. He is lucid, but is still very tired and weak. He is also still in a lot of pain. He has gotten up and walked around a couple times, but it's really hard for him. We were told this is the worst day for him, so hopefully it only goes up from here. He can have visitors any time, as long as they are 12 or older. He is in room 4115 at Duke University Hospital.

Sunday, Nov 13 - Jad was feeling much better today. He isn't hooked up to all the tubes anymore. It is still really hard to get up and walk, and he still sleeps a lot, but he is definitely getting better. Hopefully tomorrow he can get out of the hospital gown and put on some real clothes. I know he's looking forward to it. 

I believe this was the only day Jad saw Casey and Rigel during his hospital stay. My mom brought them to Duke, and we talked to Jad in the hallway. He was still in his hospital gown. The kids couldn’t go into his room, which is why he had to venture out. It was so nice to have us all together, even just for a little while.

Tuesday, Nov 15 - Jad is feeling much better today and after today, no more tubes. He should be going home tomorrow or Thursday. It's still hard to walk and move a lot because of pain, but hopefully that will get better in a couple weeks.

Wednesday, Nov 16 - I am so proud of Jad. I walked into his hospital room this morning, and he had gotten a shower, shaved, gotten dressed, and done his hair all by himself. AND, he is coming home today!!!!

It sounds kind of silly to say I was proud of him for doing normal things, but honestly, after such an intense surgery, the ability for him to do anything on his own was impressive.

Later that day, I was able to bring Jad home. I was thrilled. I had longed for our family to be together again. I remember going to get the van, and waiting by the front for him to come out. I kept looking and looking. Such joy overcame me as I saw him being wheeled out of the hospital. After being assisted into the van very slowly, we started our journey back home and to recovery. I felt bad because I know that he was in so much pain the whole way home, but he tried to be strong. When we got home, it took us several minutes to get him out of the car, down the steps, and down the walkway to our townhome. Each step was a victory.

The first thing he wanted once he got situated on the couch was Jello with pineapple in it. He had really enjoyed his Jello at the hospital. He had been on the “bland diet”, so that was the most exciting food he had eaten there.

The next week or two were very hard on me. I was taking care of my husband and my two children by myself. We so appreciated the meals our friends brought to us, as well as the love and support from everyone. Going up the stairs was really hard for Jad for a while, and he had to sleep sitting up with lots of pillows around him. Slowly, though, the pain started to lessen and the wounds started to heal.

                       The first picture of Jad holding Rigel after his surgery.

                  The family on Thanksgiving Day, not long after the surgery.

Now, Jad is healthy and life is back to normal. We will never forget that time of our lives, though, for we learned so many lessons:

 We knew that the scare that Jad had was a blessing from God, for without it, he may have eventually died from a ruptured cyst.

We gained a stronger testimony of the Word of Wisdom. Jad quit drinking in 2008, when he was investigating the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He used to drink every night. Had he kept drinking, he very well may have died from his infection, because his liver would have been completely destroyed.

We received a second confirmation that leaving my job was the right thing to do. It had been really hard for me to adjust to not working, but, had I still been working when all this was going on with Jad, I would not have been able to be with him and help him through it. Those times in the hospital, and the weeks following, were such a tender experience for us. I needed to be with him during that time.

We found one more reason that Jad was supposed to live in North Carolina: excellent doctors and surgeons who would take the time to properly diagnose him and operate on him.

We felt so much love from family and friends. We will always remember the kindness, generosity, faith and prayers.

Most importantly, we felt God’s love for us. We knew He was with Jad, that He was always with Jad. This was all part of the plan, and He prepared a way for him to survive, from moving to United States, to joining the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, to moving to North Carolina. This trial he faced was only a test. It would make him stronger, and was for his good.

Maybe it is a good thing Jad has such a large scar. It is a constant and profound reminder that miracles do happen.

***If you would like to see pictures of Jad's liver, see below. If you get queasy easily, you probably shouldn't scroll any further. Enjoy!***

The Holy Ghost led me home

Exactly one year ago I had a spiritual experience behind the wheel. This is how I told it on Facebook that night:

I have to share a spiritual experience I had last night while driving home from babysitting my good friend's kids. I got in my van and tried using my trusty phone GPS to get home since I haven't been to my friend's house enough times to memorize the route (she lives way out in the country, by the way). There was no signal. I couldn't find my car GPS.

 I hoped there would be a signal by the time I got to the end of the gravel street. There wasn't.

 I sat at the stop sign trying to fiddle with the GPS, and then and older man turned onto the gravel street, rolled down his window, and started talking to me. That freaked me out a little, so I quickly turned right since I could get away from him faster that way. I was pretty sure I went the wrong way, but I figured I could just turn around soon.

 I kept trying to get my GPS to work, to no avail. Remember, it was pitch black outside.

 I decided to turn onto the next street I saw and turn around. Big mistake. This was a very narrow gravel road that went on forever it seemed. I saw signs saying Private Property and then got nervous about being shot at. Finally, I saw a spot to turn around, and then I drove for about half a mile to get back to the road. 

I turned right, back towards my friend's house. I knew I was going the right way but still had no idea what to do next.

 I pleaded with my Heavenly Father to help me get home. My GPS did not magically start working - no, it never worked. However, though I didn't know where I was going, I managed to remember road names when I got to them. I never passed a turn, and I never went the wrong way on a road. The final test was when I wasn't sure whether to turn right or left onto a road I would had to drive five miles on. I turned the way I felt I should, and five miles later, I recognized my surroundings.

 I know with all my heart that the Holy Ghost led me home. Not once did I make a wrong turn. Not once did a vehicle drive behind me, forcing me to hurry and making me nervous. Not once did I see a deer or any other animal. Though this was a scary experience for me, it was a testimony builder. God is there for us. We need only to trust in Him.