Gratitude can change your life for the best

I shared this talk in my church congregation on December 17, 2006, not long after the hardest experiences I have ever had in my life up until that point, and probably ever in my life, until now.

The talk's topic was gratitude. I always thought that it was an inspired topic, for through studying it was I able to find some peace and a greater awareness of all of the gifts Heavenly Father has given me. 

I came across this talk today for the first time since 2006, and I thought that it might help someone who has been going through tough times, and is having a difficult time seeing God's hand and feeling His love. 

Talk on Gratitude

Doctrine and Covenants 59:21 reads, “And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments.” President James E. Faust said that this is “more than a social courtesy; it is a binding commandment.” Lastly, 1 Thessalonians 5:18 reads, “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

These statements are very clear. We must show gratitude for every occurrence and aspect of our lives.

Much of this total gratitude includes our blessings. All of us are different and come from different backgrounds, but nevertheless all receive and have received countless blessings in our lives. Doctrine and Covenants 46:32 reads, “And ye must give thanks to God in the Spirit for whatsoever blessing ye are blessed with.”

We have so many things to be thankful for. The well-known and beautiful primary song, “My Heavenly Father Loves Me,” illustrates gratitude for nature and our senses. “Whenever I hear the song of a bird, or look at the blue, blue sky. Whenever I feel the rain on my face, or the wind as it rushes by. Whenever I touch a velvet rose, or walk by a lilac tree, I’m glad that I live in this beautiful world Heavenly Father created for me. He gave me my eyes that I might see the color of butterfly wings. He gave me my ears that I might hear the magical sound of things. He gave me my life, my mind, my heart, I thank him reverently for all his creations of which I’m a part. Yes, I know Heavenly Father loves me.”

In addition to nature and creations, some of our greatest blessings in life include the people that we love and respect, such as family, friends, teachers, mentors, and leaders. Without our relationships, we would be empty souls, hungry for love, acceptance, guidance, and companionship. The hymn “Each Life that Touches Ours for Good” perfectly reflects the positive impact of strong relationships with others. The first verse reads, “Each life that touches ours for good, reflects thine own great mercy, Lord. Thou sendest blessings from above through words and deeds of those who love.”

In this church, we are also especially grateful for the gospel and the resources we have to help us better learn of Christ and our Father in Heaven. We have the scriptures, beautiful hymns, missionaries, a wonderful prophet and general authorities, temples, church magazines, and there are so many other resources that we enjoy. We must ask ourselves where we would be without the knowledge that Jesus Christ is our Savior, that the Father sent him down to earth to atone for the sins of the world, that we may be forgiven of our sins and receive eternal life. At this time of year we reflect on Jesus’ birth. John 3:16 reads, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” President Hinckley declared, “We love him. We honor him. We thank him. We worship him. He has done for each of us and for all mankind that which none other could have done. God be thanked for the gift of his Beloved Son, our Savior, the Redeemer of the world, the Lamb without blemish who was offered as a sacrifice for all mankind.

Christ was the ultimate gift and blessing, and there are countless other blessings that we as individuals enjoy, including health, prosperity, education, accomplishments, and freedoms, along with many others.

It is easy to see our blessings and have grateful minds when our lives are going well.  There are times, however, when we go through intense and difficult trials. During these times we may waver about our faith, see only the negative, complain, criticize, and place blame. At these times in our lives, it is difficult to have positive attitudes, least of all to feel grateful to our Lord for our blessings. Our problems seem to much outweigh any goodness in our lives. There is hope for these feelings of doubt and despair. We can still be happy despite our trials.

One way to do this is to have a positive attitude; see the beauty in the darkness. President Monson offers this excellent insight: “We can lift ourselves, and others as well, when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues.”

Some recognition of blessings will come during the course of the trial, and other recognition may come after the trial as you notice its positive outcomes. 

I think this talk was meant for me because this year of my life was the hardest that I have ever had to bear. This year I got divorced from my eternal companion, moved across the country, had to start my life completely over with friends, work, living arrangements, not to mention that I lost my in-laws and friends. That sounds pretty bad, and it is if you look at if from a negative perspective. But, even though my marriage failed, I am glad for the experience that it brought to my life. I have my beautiful son, who I love more than anything in the world. When I look at him, I see God’s divine hand in my life. During my two years of marriage I also had security, wonderful people to call my in-laws, my beautiful primary children whom I would not have taught if I hadn’t of been married and in a family ward. The most important thing I got out of my marriage was growth as an individual. I strengthened myself in ways of tolerance, forgiveness, communication skills, enduring to the end, hard work, love, and devotion. I went through my divorce during my last semester at SUU. That was a very difficult semester, but I did receive many blessings during that time. The sheer fact that I was able to graduate from college with high honors when I had a baby, family, work, church, and a divorce to worry about on top of school was a miracle in itself. 

My life since I have moved to North Carolina has been hard too, but I have had so many blessings. I have a loving family who helps me with everything I need, even though  I know sometimes Casey and I are a hardship; my ex-husband and I are friends and we keep in contact; I have made many friends in this ward, and I am so grateful for how many of you have opened your hearts to Casey. I am grateful that even though I will soon have to put my son in someone else’s care while I work, that he will be with a loving caregiver who has a son his age. Everything is going to be okay in my life. I just need to focus on the positive. 

      

The song “Count your Blessings” helps us to change our attitude and build our faith of enduring trials. The first two verses read: “When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed, when you are discouraged thinking all is lost, count your many blessings, name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done. Are you ever burdened with a load of care? Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear? Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly, and you will be singing as the days go by.

In the field of communication there is a theory dealing with costs and rewards. When a relationship brings more costs than rewards to our lives, we will end the relationship. But I testify to you today that no matter how many trials we have to face, in our relationship with the Savior, the rewards will always be higher than the costs. So, coming to the Lord in prayer, asking for help in your trials is perhaps the best way to have the strength to live life positively and with a grateful heart. Alma 37:37 reads, “Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night, lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.” We shall be exalted if we come unto Christ and thank him for all that he does for us in our every day lives. There is nothing greater for which we can be thankful.

To show God how much we love him, we should serve others. These kind acts will also help us to overlook our own struggles by helping others with theirs. You could be the answer to someone else’s prayer and not even know it. You can stimulate gratitude in others through pure love and service. To show our gratitude to our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ we should be mindful of our brethren just as they are mindful of us. Then we can find joy in our sometimes dreary lives.

We now know that we must be grateful for all things and thus we need to show this gratitude. The simplest way is just to say it. President Hinckley said, “There are two little words in the English language that perhaps mean more than all others. They are “thank you.” President Monson counsels: “Think to thank. In these three words is the finest capsule course for a happy marriage, a formula for enduring friendship, and a pattern for personal happiness.” In Luke 17 we read about the ten lepers. Christ showed them the way to be healed, and only one of the ten lepers came back to thank him. Jesus said to the Samaritan, “Were there not ten cleansed? But where are the nine? There are not found that returned to give glory to God, save this stranger. And he said unto him, Arise and go thy way: thy faith hath made thee whole.” The man who expressed his gratitude received Christ’s blessing, and the others’ ingratitude resulted only in disappointment.

We can express our gratitude to our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in our prayers, and also in our actions. President Monson offers this plea: “Let us follow Him. Let us emulate his example. Let us obey His word. By so doing, we give to Him the divine gift of gratitude.” Jesus himself said in John 14:21, “He that hath my commandments and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me.” We should also use the gospel resources that we have been given, such as studying the scriptures, praying, sustaining church leaders, paying our tithing and fast offering, singing hymns, going to the temple, and doing family history.

We should also show our gratitude to those who serve us on the earth. We can write thank you notes, make phone calls, show affection, and spend time with people. Remember, that even if someone does something for you that may not be exactly what you wanted, still show excitement and gratitude because that person worked really hard to make you happy. Also try not to take those who serve you for granted. Say thank you to your family, friends, and all others for everything, even the small things.

I’d like to leave you with two quotes. The first was given by President Harold B. Lee: “Life is God’s gift to man. What we do with our life is our gift to God.”

Doctrine and Covenants 78:19 reads “And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.”

What a promise. Just showing gratitude can bring about so many wonderful blessings. I am thankful so much for this ward and for your kindness to Casey and me. I hope that we can all remember Christ and his infinite love for each of us.

I never stand alone.

Alone I stand,
While all the world around me
Surrounds me
And takes me for a fool.
But I am not
The first to be regarded
As weak and simple-hearted
For choosing to believe
That He keeps watch over His own.

CHORUS
I never stand alone
When I stand with God
And I stand with His prophets.
Wherever I may go,
When I stand with God
I never stand alone.

And so it is
My heart has been befriended,
Defended
By those who've gone before.
Who call to me
Like distant rolling thunder,
"You cannot be outnumbered!
You're standing with the Lord."
And He keeps watch over His own.

CHORUS

I stand with Nephi and Moroni,
With Abinadi, who testified in flames!
With saints through the ages,
Stalwart and faithful,
Leading me, telling me . . .

CHORUS

This beautiful song is called "I Never Stand Alone," and is from the musical From Cumorah's Hill. It has been on my mind for the last couple days. You may remember I recently wrote about another song from this very musical. I may at some point write about all of them, for they all are glorious.

This particular song, which cannot be done justice simply by reading the words, is one I have loved since I was a teenager studying the Book of Mormon. I sang this song in front of a large group of youth twice in that year, and it had a huge impact on my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and of the Book of Mormon.

I love how the words of this song bring comfort and strength to true believers in Christ, who many times are persecuted and belittled for their beliefs. Living the gospel in word and deed will never be popular in this world, but, as the song says, when I stand with God, I am never outnumbered, and I am never alone.

There is another message in this song too. It mentions standing with the prophets. Prophets have been testifying of Christ long before He was ever born. They testified of Him after His resurrection, and there are still prophets today who testify of Him, and provide counsel on how to live in accordance with God's will.

Though prophets are called of God to bring souls unto Him, they are often shunned, persecuted, and sometimes even killed. The end of this song praises the names of men named Nephi, Moroni and Abinadi.

These are three prophets in the Book of Mormon who remained unshaken in their faith no matter what hardships they faced.

Nephi



Nephi was the son of Lehi, who received a vision from the Lord in 600 B.C. to leave Jerusalem. His life was being threatened by wicked men, and the city was soon to be destroyed due to the wickedness of the people. Nephi prayed for confirmation any time his father received instruction from the Lord, and he obeyed faithfully.

He was the youngest of four brothers. One of his brothers, Sam, stood by him always, but his oldest brothers, Laman and Lemuel, constantly murmured and complained. They did not believe that their father was a prophet. They hated their younger brother for his righteousness, his faith, and for his relationship with God.

Early on in their journey in the wilderness, Lehi, on commandment from the Lord, asked his sons to go back to Jerusalem to get the Plates of Brass. A wicked man named Laban was in possession of these plates. This was a very dangerous endeavor. Nephi, however, never complained, and even attempted, without hesitation, to get the plates on three different occasions. He relied on the Lord to deliver him from Laban, and because of his faith, he was able to obtain the record.

Many times Laman and Lemuel tried to kill Nephi, one instance being after they lost their earthly wealth the second time they tried to get the plates. But no matter what his brothers said or did in hatred and bitterness, Nephi was always courageous. He always obeyed the Lord. He always forgave his brothers and bade them follow the Lord too, regardless of their many unrighteous acts.

When I think that I can't do something, I think of Nephi's words:

"I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them" (1 Nephi 3:7).

Abinadi



About 440 years after Lehi led his family out of Jerusalem, a man named Abinadi was called to be a prophet and preach repentance to a wicked people, called the Nephites, and their wicked king, Noah. He went among the people warning them that if they did not repent, the Lord would allow their enemies to bring them into bondage. The people were angry and tried to take his life, but the Lord delivered him out of their hands.

Even after that near-death experience, Abinadi willingly returned to the wicked people two years later to cry repentance again, this time prophesying the death of their king and the destruction of the people if they did not repent. He was arrested and soon thereafter taken before King Noah.

King Noah was angry with Abinadi's bold declarations regarding the wickedness of the king's priests and their false teachings, and commanded that he be slain.

Abinadi then shone with the power of God and commanded the guards, “Touch me not, for God shall smite you if ye lay your hands upon me, for I have not delivered the message which the Lord sent me to deliver. … I must fulfil the commandments wherewith God has commanded me" (Mosiah 13:3).

He had the Spirit of the Lord with him as he finished the message he was sent to deliver. Abinadi said that once he gave this message, it did not matter what would happen to him.

At the conclusion of his testimony where he prophesied of the coming of Jesus Christ, King Noah demanded that Abinadi be put to death. A young man, named Alma, one of the king's priests, pleaded for his life. This man named Alma would become a worthy vessel to forward the work of the Lord among the people.

Three days after Alma spoke up and was cast out, King Noah demanded that Abinadi take back his words or be put to death. He refused.

Abinadi suffered death by fire, being put to death because "he would not deny the commandments of God, having sealed the truth of his words by his death" (Mosiah 17:20).

I believe that any prophet of God that ever lived would have been willing to give his life to accomplish the will of God in proclaiming the truth. Joseph Smith was one of those prophets.

Do I have the courage to do what Abinadi did? I am not a prophet, but I am a disciple of Christ. I know that I want to do God's will, and that I should not be afraid to do so. There is no worldly punishment that could stop me from following my Savior.

Moroni



Moroni was the last prophet in the Book of Mormon. About 400 years after Christ's resurrection and visit to the Americas, Moroni's people, the Nephites, were being obliterated from off the face of the earth. He saw his father, Mormon, die in battle. That left him the last righteous Nephite, and person, in the land.

His life was in much danger because the Lamanites put to death any Nephite who would not deny the Christ. Moroni said, "And I, Moroni, will not deny the Christ; wherefore, I wander whithersoever I can for the safety of mine own life" (Moroni 1:3).

As Moroni hid from the carnage going on amongst the Nephites and Lamanites, he wrote his testimony in hopes that it would someday help the descendants of the Lamanites.

What a Christ-like person he must have been to write to help the souls of his enemies. Moroni wrote so many beautiful words about how the church of Christ should be operated, how to treat others as God would want us to, how to gain charity, which is the pure love of Christ, how to discern good from evil, and how we all have gifts given to us from God.

The most life-changing message that Moroni left for all of us, is this:

"Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.

And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things" (Moroni 10:3-5).

Moroni stood with God and with the prophets, as he declared that the words written in the Book of Mormon are true. He asked us to remember God's mercy, and to ask Him with sincerity if the words in the Book of Mormon are in fact true. He promised that those who pray with real intent and faith in Christ, will feel the Holy Ghost manifest of its divinity.


These are just three examples of prophets in the Book of Mormon who were courageous, stalwart, faithful, and obedient. Though often they stood without human allies, they were never alone because they stood with God.



I know that as we follow the examples of these worthy men, and valiantly do God's will, that we will be blessed, that we can endure all things that come our way. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love us more than we could ever fathom, and they are right there beside us. Keep the faith, my friends.

Washington, D.C., I love you.

Jad, Kamren and I went to Washington, D.C. this past Friday through Sunday. It was such a wonderful vacation for us. It was Jad's first time ever being in D.C. and I hadn't been there for many years.

Throughout our time there, my mind flooded with memories of my childhood. When I looked at the Washington Memorial, I thought of how I had never gone up it because my dad is afraid of heights.

When I looked up at Abraham Lincoln, he was just as big as I remembered. 

When we went to the Smithsonians, I remembered how much I used to love looking at the gemstones at the Museum of Natural History, and how entrancing Dorothy's ruby slippers were, and still are, to me. I remembered the airplanes hanging from the ceiling just like it was yesterday, and still feel giddy as a school girl when I see the First Ladies' ball gowns. I also felt the same special feeling seeing the sunstone from the Nauvoo Temple.

As I reminisced, Jad experienced D.C. for the first time in all its wonderment. He was in awe of the ornate architecture everywhere we went. He fell in love with the Capitol, and felt right at home on the green grass covering the mall.

We both especially loved the architecture of the Library of Congress. We could have stayed there forever admiring every ceiling, every pillar, every wall engraving, every quote, every color palette.

Because Jad and I had never been to D.C. together, everything felt new and fresh and adventurous.

We learned how to read a Metro map and took the Metro.

We only actually rode the metro once, and loved walking many miles around a city so big, loud and busy, and yet so peaceful.

As we walked, we felt an inner reverence as we reflected on the many freedoms we are able to enjoy in this great land. Regardless of hardships that occur in our country, we are still so blessed and proud to be Americans.

We really enjoyed visiting some of the monuments on our first night there. We took a walking tour and learned so much from our tour guide. I loved seeing monuments I had grown up loving, and also visiting some I had never seen before.

We really enjoyed the good food D.C. had to offer too.On my birthday, we enjoyed the best breakfast we had ever had in our lives, at a restaurant called Founding Farmers.

 Beignets with raspberry, caramel and chocolate dipping sauces.

Egg cream and sparkling passion fruit juice. Egg creams are to die for, by the way.

Jad got chicken and waffles, with gravy, and the best scrambled eggs in the world.

I got heaven on a plate. French toast sticks with strawberries and whipped cream, all from scratch.

Did I mention the french toast was stuffed with vanilla cream??

Our experiences in D.C. were made so much sweeter by sharing them with our beloved Kamren.

Turning 30 in Washington, D.C. is something I will never forget.

The day after my birthday we would fly home to Mebane, but not until after an unforgettable day.

It started by attending church. The building was like none I had ever seen before. It was beautiful, and the people in the congregation were diverse and unique. I felt honored to participate in an instant choir number.

Upon leaving church, we prepared to head just 15 minutes outside of D.C. Though our time had been fulfilling in every way, we longed to go to one more place - a special place in Kensington, Maryland.

Can you see it in this picture? Look hard.

I will give you a hint. Here is Kamren next to a model of it.

That is a model of the LDS Washington D.C. Temple. We would soon walk on the grounds and view it in all its majesty. 

First, though, we spent time in the Temple Visitors' Center, a place for all to learn more about the LDS faith, about temples, and about Jesus Christ.

We started out our visit in such a spiritual way. We entered a beautiful theater, relaxed in the lovely burgundy seats, and watched a movie about the life of Joseph Smith.

Jad and I had both seen it before, but we drank in every minute of the prophet's life with the utmost respect and love. Tears streamed down our faces as the movie ended. The Spirit was strong.

We then walked around the center, and enjoyed all it had to offer. 

Videos of fellow LDS members, talking about their lives and faith.

Videos of missionaries telling their stories, videos about family, educational presentations teaching about the gospel through the words of the Book of Mormon, and so much more.

I loved watching videos of the LDS humanitarian efforts around the world. 

The wall of prophets was so beautiful. Prophets from the Bible and Book of Mormon were portrayed, ending with the first prophet of this dispensation, Joseph Smith.

Thought-provoking quotes adorned the walls. This one is from our prophet, Thomas S. Monson. It was his birthday wish a few years ago.

For me, the most wonderful part of the visitors' center is the Christus. There are benches where you can sit down and listen to Christ speaking His word directly to you. You can feel His love surround you.

 

 This is a picture of us outside the Visitors' center with the magnificent temple behind us. My favorite part of our D.C. trip would be walking around this sacred house of of God.

We were truly so happy to be there.

The grounds are so lovely.

This is the Lord's house. It is a sacred place to feel a bit of heaven on earth, to feel peace in a wicked world, to further the kingdom of God. 

I love the gold doors adorning the temple.

Kamren loved crawling in the soft grass.

Being at the temple brought back so many memories of my youth. This is the temple I always went to growing up. It was a wonderful experience to be there with my son and my husband.

This is one of the most beautiful buildings I have ever seen. I had forgotten just how glorious it really is.

Because of temples, families can be together forever. I know this is true.

We left the temple to go to the airport, but the feelings we had there lingered with us as we drove.  

I really think this was one of the most wonderful vacations I have taken in a long time. Old memories, new memories, a renewed bond with my family, and an enhanced faith in my country and in my God.